Survival of a Rude Society for the Modern Girl
The Cell Phone:
Miss Manners has been a series that has been long coming. I originally wanted to start a whole blog on manners, the do’s and dont’s of life and share some of my personal experiences. But I realized that would be a huge commitment. For about the last 6 months I have been talking about starting these posts and have just simply not gotten around to it. I really feel that it is important to discuss these issues because I want people to realize that it is not ok to do certain things, and to simply just realize that they do things that can be considered rude and may just not even realize. We live in a very self absorbed culture and I feel that basic common sense and manners have been forgotten because we are always caught up in our own world and often forget that we may just be hurting someone by our rudeness.
This weeks topic is Cell Phones! The dreadful phone that we are obsessed with (I am guilty too at times). When is it ok to use your phone and when is it not? Seems basic right, guess again!
I have had a few issues with a few friends of mine (I will never name names ever) but I am using these examples to really help people understand why this is so rude. When you schedule to spend time with a friend you expect to have them there, fully in your presence, you don’t expect to have to be fighting for their attention with their cell phone. I have experienced this a lot! It is plain rude and I have been very hurt by it! Imagine being out to lunch with your friend and having a half bash conversation with them because they are twittering or checking facebook, or messaging, or email on their iphone! This is not acceptable and completely rude.
This is the message that you are sending to people when you answer/play on your phone:
1. I do not respect you!
2. I do not respect your time!
When you are with friends or family your cell phone should be stored away in your purse or pocket. If your phone should ring or you get a text what should you do?
1. Don’t answer it (you can call them back later that is what messages are for)
2. Excuse your self and say I will be right back (only if) you can handle telling the person on the phone that you are with a friend and will be more than happy to call them back, do not leave your friend alone at a coffee shop for 20 minutes while you jibber on the phone! Again this is telling your friend that you do not respect them nor do you respect their time!
What if you are on call or at a business meeting?
If you are meeting with clients you should never answer your phone. If you need to check messages because the person you are meeting with next may have canceled or is lost than this is perfectly understandable, same rules apply excuse yourself and keep it short. In most cases whether with a friend or with a client you should remember to silent your phone or at least turn the volume down, nothing is more annoying than trying to have a conversation when the phone keeps buzzing.
How about while driving. I once spent a long ride with a friend who I had not seen in ages in the car. Neither of us was driving, and instead of chatting with me she spent the whole time on her phone doing this and that. Again you are sending the message, that you don’t respect me and that you don’t value the time we have together.
If you are driving the car should you use your cell phone? No! I am totally guilty of making a call or two while driving (I really try not to) but I am guilty of it. It really is unsafe and if you are talking or texting while driving you really are being rude because you basically are saying that you care more about yourself and your business than the lives that you are putting in danger by not giving the road your full attention.
Well I think I covered most of the basics of cell phone usage. I hope this helps, and I truly hope that people become more aware of how they may be hurting another by being rude. So next time your with a friend, resist the urge, make it a habit to give your friend all of yourself, to respect them and your time together. And if you have a friend who has been hurting you this way, let them know (nicely) that this is hurting you, don’t be afraid to tell them because I truly believe people just don’t realize and don’t think to realize that they are being rude
Be Kind, for you don’t know the hard paths traveled by another,
~ Miss Manners
